Diary ; Empty

I think I worked quite hard lately. 

I go to school. I go for tuition classes. I workout. 

I'm so drained recently. 

I socialized with peoples. Actually talk to peoples.

I seldom talk too much to peoples other than my family.

I have a bunch of classmates. And they are such a blessing.

They lighten my day even a little,

Yet, I get home really emotional.

It's like I worked hard all these while for nothing.

Yes. I feel so empty.

I understand that I have to struggle real hard this year to achieve a good result in my SPM.

I have to work hard for my future. I know.

I just feel really empty. 

I don't know why I wake up that early every single day. 

I just don't know.

It's not like I will have a great day either.

Somehow I just wanna be happy. 

I might laugh the loudest in tuition class, I might be the craziest hamsap lou in class,

But trust me, I'm not actually happy. 

Not even once this year.

They said if you spend a lot, buy what you want, you will feel happy. 

I did.

I spent a lot. I have everything I want, I have everything I need.

But it is still the same. 

I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND. 

I guess they are right.

" Happiness. Money can't buy happiness."